SEX CRIMINALS (2013)

"A SEX COMEDY FOR COMICS Suzie's a normal girl with an extraordinary ability: when she has sex, she stops time. One night she meets John... who has the same gift. And so they do what any other sex-having, time-stopping, couple would do: they rob banks. In the vein of THE 40-YEAR OLD VIRGIN and BRIDESMAIDS, Image Comics invites you to come along with MATT FRACTION (Hawkeye, SATELLITE SAM) and CHIP ZDARSKY (Prison Funnies, Monster Cops) for the series that puts the 'comic' back in 'comics' and the 'sexy' back in 'sex crimes.'"

"So who's the boy with the same sexy-time time-stopping gifts as Suzie? Meet John, who until last night thought he could freeze time with his junk. At long last not alone, what kind of horny hijinx will he and Suzie get up to together? What ANY of us would do if having sex stopped the whole world: We'd do crimes. "

"How did these two end up in that bank, with those guns? Because they seemed like such nice kids, right? Well, THE SEX POLICE have the same questions and descend on Susie and Jon. And we get the rest of Jon's gory story - if you read ONE weird sex and time comedy comic this year, make sure it's 'My Sexual Errors 1998 - Present!'"

"She can seemingly control time and space with her...parts. She's as relentless a manhunter as law enforcement ever created. And by day she's no one you'd particularly notice, with her quiet suburban life and pleasant-enough job, but when the temporal dimension is used to break society's laws they call...HER. Jon and Suzie get in too deep way too fast as one little sexy fun party crime begets another and the villains of the piece descend. Turns out Jon and Suzie aren't the only ones after all "

"The best part of a new relationship is the first three weeks, right? The rush of the new, the gravitational pull of the sudden other-ness in your life, the almost-illicit charge of nothing else mattering...and then it's time to pay the bills. Well, the honeymoon is over for the SEX CRIMINALS. Can Jon and Suzie survive Jon and Suzie?"

"TIME MAGAZINE'S COMIC OF THE YEAR RETURNS WITH ITS SECOND STORYLINE! After their narrow getaway from the Sex Police, Jon and Suzie are learning that this is 'just the tip' of a massive iceberg. And what happens after the rush of a new relationship fades? Are they in love, lust, like, or just lame? Sexy fun times returns: You missed you so much, brimpers."

"Jon breaks into Kegelface's house and oh my golly what on EARTH do you think he finds there. Not only are our beloved Sex Criminals not alone...they're not unwatched, either. And Suzie learns once and for all the fate of her precious library."

"Jon and Suzie have had to deal with a whole lot in their time together but nothing can prepare them for...Robert Rainbow. Actually he's a pretty cool guy. And that's the problem. Come along and laff and love with the Eisner Award-nominated SEX CRIMINALS by MATT FRACTION (SATELLITE SAM, Hawkeye) and special guest artist CHIP ZDARSKY (SPAWN*, THE WALKING DEAD*) *avid reader of"

"Suze and Jon meet Ana. Or rather, meet Ana AGAIN. Or should we say, meet...Ms. Jazmine St. Cocaine AGAIN. Did we just put those words in that order in PREVIEWS? Yes. Yes we did. By MATT FRACTION (SEX CRIMINALS) and CHONNY ZDARKO (SEX CRIMINALS)."

"In which Jon and Suzie learn just how alone together we all are, and the stakes get raised crazy-high in this, the second arc finale. By MATT FRACTION (CASANOVA, ODYC, SATELLITE SAM) and just a great big bunch of C.H.U.D.s with photoshop or something. "

"NEW STORY! NEW STARTING POINT! SAME OLD MATT AND CHIP. Jon and Suzie have a special gift: when they have sex, they stop time. Turns out they're not alone. Get on board the book that's been called 'hilarious' and 'arousing' - and you could win $1000 dollars. ONE of these randomly selected SPECIAL POLYBAGGED ISSUES contains $1000. Seriously. Lots of comics want you to speculate about getting rich. We just want to artificially inflate our sales for a month and MAKE you rich(er). This is not a joke."

"To be announced."

"Bwakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-BWOMP"

"Why can't we all just get along? Because then the comic would be boring."

"To be announced."

"SEX CRIMINALS is BACK. Full sex! Deep crime! Big floppy 16th issue!"

"You think it's hard being a sex criminal? Try being a sex cop for, like, an issue, give or take. ALSO THIS ISSUE: a special sequence guest-colored by a MYSTERY COLORIST whose name rhymes exactly with 'ELIZABETH BREITWEISER.'"

"There's a line between fan and fetishist, right? Probably. Also: the long-awaited return of JAZMINE ST. COCAINE!!! [COLLECTOR'S ITEM]"

"Everybody goes deeper and, no, for the first time, we do NOT mean it like that."

"END OF STORY ARC All good things, like sex, crime, and this arc of SEX CRIMINALS, come to an end. And this one ends with CHARACTERS doing THINGS and making CHOICES that CHANGE EVERYTHING! In terms of, y'know, the SEX CRIMINALS comic book. Everything's still the same over in, like, Batman or whatever."

"'FIVE-FINGERED DISCOUNT,' Part One Up is down and black is white and the sex isn't happening-neither is the crime. WHAT IS THIS BOOK EVEN? After the heartbreaking, albeit totally unsurprising, finale of FOURGY!, our leads find themselves in the arms of others while the fate of the whole universe hangs in the balance...ish!"

"'FIVE-FINGERED DISCOUNT,' Part Two Ghosts! Ghoooooooosts! Okay, not literally. But still. Suzie and Jon find themselves haunted by their pasts, in different ways, for different reasons. Also: Ana, too. And Doc. And Kegel. DANG!"

"'FIVE-FINGERED DISCOUNT,' Part Three It's all been building to this: Alix gets hit by a bus. (She's okay.)"

"'FIVE-FINGERED DISCOUNT,' Part Four: The long-awaited return of the most beloved piece of the SEX CRIMINALS phenomenon that took the comics world by storm: the eight-panel grid! Wait, what do you mean you didn't even notice it was gone? How dare you!"

"'FIVE-FINGERED DISCOUNT,' Conclusion-How have we gotten through 24 issues already and not made an 'exciting climax' joke in the solicits? C'mon, Matty, wake up and get your head in the game."

"NEW STORY ARC! * THE SERIES? It's back. * JON AND SUZE? Also back. * THE BANK? MUST BE TAKEN DOWN. * THIS ARC? THE LAST. Gasp! * BULLET LISTS? How do you turn them off in Microsoft Word The highly anticipated return of the #1 New York Times bestselling humor/romance series SEX CRIMINALS kicks off its final story arc. Praised for its emotionally compelling characters, taut storytelling, and comedic genius, Time Magazine called it 'the best comic of the year' upon launch. Since its debut, SEX CRIMINALS has garnered coverage from such mainstream media outlets as Entertainment Weekly, Rolling Stone, NPR, and The Washington Post and won multiple awards. SEX CRIMINALS follows the adventures of Suzie and Jon-a couple who discover they can stop time when they have sex. This final chapter sees the reunion of writer MATT FRACTION (NOVEMBER, Hawkeye) and CHIP ZDARSKY (THE WHITE TREES, Daredevil)."

"'THE END,' Part Two-Suze and Jon inch closer to the big finish, albeit in very different ways, bringing Suze face-to-face with her future, and Jon-well, read it, it's a whole thing."

"'THE END,' Part Three-The bad guy comes into rack focus. I didn't mean anything dirty by that, I mean, like, we learn a lot about him on the eve of the Big Job. That sounds dirty too. It's not. I mean, not really."

"'THE END,' Part Four Well it's too late to stop now, gang."

"'THE END,' Part Five Original Series Artist CHIP ZDARSKY returns for our FINAL ISSUE except for the one issue that comes next that's like a coda or reprise or something classy like whatever the WICDIV guys called it."

"FINAL ISSUE! SERIES FINALE in which we skip ahead 39 issues and check in with how it all ends up a few years down the line. SPOILERS: pretty okay?"